Out of Time or Just Getting Old

When I turned 16 in 2008 I was quite excited. I was looking forward to all the new opportunities that would be opening up to me. A week before my birthday I started putting in job applications around town, because I needed some goof-off money. And fuel to get around, of course. A grocery store took me in and I started accumulating new friends and that ever-so-sought-after dollar. It wasn't long before I finally went out and got myself an Xbox 360 and, shortly after, a router so I could start gaming with my newfound friends.

I don't know how many times I went into work with a measly 2 hours of sleep after a long night of me and my coworkers, now my best of friends, dunking on people in Halo 3 or Call of Duty Modern Warfare. Or falling asleep standing up with a broom as my crutch after being out at GameStop for that midnight release. This went on for a few years, but as the Earth continued its revolutions things started to die down. The very last game that I remember enjoying with the guys was Battlefield Hardline which released in 2015. Majority of my friends were 4 or more years older than I, so their careers started to demand more of their attention and, with such little time left available, began to pursue other hobbies.

10 years has passed since our last leaderboard takeover, about 9 years since we ever got together again to game. Promotions have been handed out at work, children have been brought into their lives, and those that are closest to them like family and friends have begun to fill whatever actual free time they have.

It took me another 5 years to start this same transformation. At some point during the pandemic a small part of me gave up a form of hope. Well, with how chaotic the 2020's started, most people lost hope in one thing or another, but mine had no relation. The hope that I lost was a product of my constant dissatisfaction with the current status quo of triple A gaming.

The triple A game industry has continued to excrete garbage year after year with the only saving graces coming from indie studios or lone developers out there genuinely trying to deliver a magnum opus of sorts or simply something that they are extremely proud of and happy to share with the world.

Resuming the original point; my main hobby of 30 years is slowly starting to wane. Responsibilities of everyday life, meeting expectations of employers, and the demand of my attention for things that don't make my list of priorities; same for you I am sure. I find myself instead of trying out new games I return to what is more familiar and what I believe to actually be worth my time. I no longer - and haven't in many years - want to hang out at GameStop for another midnight release. I would much rather be in the comfort of my home drinking a cup of black tea revisiting a game that has been out for a decade or more.

So am I running out of time or just getting old? It's both. The fact of life is that as you age things beyond your control, or within, at times, take a good chunk of the finite time you have available more and more often as the years trickle by. And so with whatever is left over you begin to prioritize whatever means most to you: loved ones, friends, small hobbies that you've yet to experience, or perfecting a lifelong hobbies like painting. The list could go on.

I myself have taken up two new hobbies that I never thought I would. One is this crappy blog that probably nobody will read unless I force-feed it to them, which I'm fine with, and coffee. I know. "Coffee?" Yes, coffee. I've sworn off sodas and energy drinks, so now I'm trying my hand at making the perfect cup of coffee and finding the best coffee I can get my hands on, subjectively speaking, and then logging my findings. Never in my life did I think I'd spend 15-20 minutes making coffee and writing about it in a notebook.

On top of those, I have a list of other hobbies I would like to venture into, but just like all things I can only fit so many avocations in the couple of hours I have left.